No Plan B: Trusting the Journey Back to Melbourne
This move feels like the first time I truly chose me
The last time I posted I was in Melbourne. A little over 5 months later I’m back. I could never have predicted the series of events that led me back here.
The last post was written in the middle of a 3 month trip around Australia. That hostel was by far the worse place I’ve ever stayed in but these experiences are character building. Or at least that’s what I tell myself!
When I embarked on the trip last June it was all about solo travel and being a digital nomad. I was also following my heart and not necessarily doing what felt ‘logical’. About halfway through the trip I realised it wasn’t about living a nomadic life but finding my home. I could never have predicted that I would want to live in Australia but at that time, last August, I knew this was where I wanted to be. It may not be forever, as nothing is, but this is where I need to be right now. I wouldn’t have chosen Melbourne, but Melbourne seems to have chosen me. I have been here 11 days now. I’ve been up and down emotionally but also kind to myself. I sold most of my stuff and came here on a one way ticket which is no small thing at the age of 61. I was saying to myself ‘there is no plan B’ and ‘I’m all in.’ But I wasn’t being completely honest. I didn’t sell my car and I have made plans for May. Since being here I realised it was out of fear and I couldn’t fully let go. Then I was wishing I had sold my car after all.
I wonder if I am ready to let go fully now. After all I can cancel my plans, get the rest of my stuff - which is only my winter clothes and some books and CDs - sent out here and ask my son to sell my car for me. Nothing is set in stone. I’m living in the moment, day to day. One thing I do know, that this is the first time in my life I’m living somewhere of my choosing. I feel a happiness from within, not reliant on anyone or anything else. I am loving myself more as well.
Last year when I was travelling it didn’t feel right to be writing and making videos as it was taking me away from the moment. Instead of making posts for the sake of it I am now committed to doing it when I feel inspired, like I did today.
I’d also like to thank Greyhound Australia for supporting me in my travels last year.
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